Last week, I was pumped for the premiere of The Bachelor.
The rest of the week, I was pretty sad, bloated, exhausted, cramping, and broken out. All these bumming factors were causing me to crave some non-dairy ice cream, maybe with some peanut butter cups…Mmmmm!!
Can you see where this was going?
As I sit here writing this blog, I am still so. freaking. tired.
I wanted to share something simple, fun, and easy to write because I lack energy.
That’s when the perfect story hit me!
I’ll give you a disclaimer. Just because it’s easy and fun to write doesn’t mean it’s easy to read, especially if certain types of blood gross you out.
Are you following? Do you see where this is going now?
This story is about the first time I got my period!
In sixth grade, I made a life-altering discovery: Twilight books. I could not put them down because I was obsessed with Edward Cullen. Now, I demanded my sixth-grade boyfriend, Juan, refer to me as ‘love.’
One Friday night, I had around a hundred or so pages left, so I decided to finish the book.
At 1:00 am, I got to the ballerina studio scene, and I shit you not, my nose started bleeding. So, all over the page talking about blood, is my permanent mark.
I rushed downstairs to the bathroom and sat over the toilet to let my nose bleed – what a flawless strategy.
When my nose stopped bleeding, I was prepared to go back upstairs to the world’s best book. Before I ran upstairs, I decided to pee, so there would be no more interruptions.
When I pulled my pants down, my eyes caught a weird sight.
“Hm, how’d blood get there?”
I wondered. But the curiosity was gone in an instance. I had bigger things to worry about: was Edward going to save the day!? There were only a few more books, but maybe Bella isn’t in them?? I just didn’t know!!
I shrugged off the whole thing as me being an awkward twelve-year-old and galloped up the stairs to finish the book.
The next day, my middle school BFF, Delaney, and I hit the mall. We needed to snatch some matching outfits from Wet Seal because besties match, right!?
Once we got home, I went to the bathroom.
When I saw the same sight, I started tearing up and got embarrassed.
So, Like, Now What!?
I opened the door and said, “Delaney, I think I keep pooping my pants?”
I was terrified to hear her response. What twelve-year-old shits their pants and doesn’t even know? Is any sixth-grader this awkward?
Juan will never call me ‘love’ now!!!!
If I remember correctly, she came in and checked and said, “Chloe, that’s blood. You started your period.”
Then, I told my mom, changed into sweats, and we all devoured ice cream with chocolate syrup, watching Disney. …that sounds amazing right now.
Have a great week! Remember to listen to your body! If you need rest, rest. If you need coffee, get coffee. If you need cuddles, adopt a dog. If you need chocolate, eat chocolate. If you need champagne, watch The Bachelor, too!