Four times a year, I spend a solid month working in Excel.
During this time, I scarf down chips and salsa, blast Taylor Swift, and drink all the strawberry lemonade. These actions make Excel a lot more fun – it’s almost like I’m hanging with my homies.
But there are only so many T. Swift jams. So, I decided to start a podcast to mix things up.
Then, I got addicted.
Then, before I knew it, I had listened to every episode within three weeks.
That’s hundred of episodes ranging from a half-hour to an hour.
So, like, now I’m officially a hardcore Crime Junkie!
Ashley Flowers and Brit Prawat have opened my eyes to a world that I never knew existed; a side of our world. Three significant lessons that I have learned from them are to:
Be weird. Be rude. Stay alive.
That I most definitely need a taser as a stocking stuffer this Christmas.
To make an ‘If I Go Missing’ folder.
Be weird. Be rude. Stay alive.
When I make a quick trip to Cebolla’s at 4 pm in broad daylight, I practically run to and from my car. On my way back from picking up the order, I have my margarita mix in hand, ready to bash it over anyone’s head who tries to take me. When I finally make my way back to my car, I check the backseat before hopping in. Then, I lock my door faster than Cher can squeal,
“ugh, as if!”
Additionally, I have realized that I’m not obligated to acknowledge the creepy guy asking me questions, the woman trying to get me to follow her, or anyone who gives me a bad feeling – including police officers. No, really, so many people get hurt because people pose as police officers. When you are being pulled over on a secluded road or in the dark, I recommend calling your local police station and verifying the car before pulling over.
Taser
This one is pretty self-explanatory.
Carry things on you that will protect you. Have pepper spray, have a tracker on your phone, have a taser!
Most importantly, don’t wait for bad things to happen for you to buy these things.
Ashley and Brit always stress the importance of getting security cameras and security systems installed before terrible things occur. Have them so you can prevent these horrible tragedies.
If I Go Missing
Something that Crime Junkie discusses is creating an “If I Go Missing” folder.
This folder contains information like your Apple ID, your phone information, physical identifiers, threatening people in your life, and other information that could help people find you if you go missing.
They created a template for this folder that can be found HERE.
Again, fill this out before bad things happen. I suggest giving one or two to trusted people – people that would never harm you. Personally, I’d give one to my mom, my dad, and my fiancé. That way, if any of them killed me, others would still have the information. (Not that I’m suspicious of them!)
Fieldwork
If you are intrigued and want to learn why all these things are critical, I’d suggest bingeing all of Crime Junkie in three weeks. You definitely won’t need to sleep with the light on, sprint to your car, share your location with everyone and check your coworkers’ drawers for cake – unless you’re a lot like me.
If listening to hours upon hours of a podcast is too much for you to handle, I have compiled a list of some of my favorite episodes of Crime Junkie.
After listening to these, I imagine you, too, will go down a rabbit hole listening to every episode, buying their Patreon content, and anxiously awaiting a merch drop so you can snag a sweatshirt.
Serial killers are sure to leave me alone when they realize I’m a hardcore Crime Junkie, rocking a hoodie. They’ll know I have an ‘If I Go Missing’ folder!
Here are thirteen episodes (I picked the spooky number) that are sure to make you question everyone in your life, order a taser, and get right on that folder:
WANTED: Robert Fisher
This episode was released on January 8, 2018. (Mine and Dawson’s soon-to-be wedding anniversary!)
Robert Fisher has been on the FBI Most Wanted list and has never been caught.
…maybe
I’m convinced that Robert has been caught but was able to alter his fingerprints and getaway.
This might sound totally bizarre, but listen to the episode and see if it still sounds far-fetched.
Listen to this episode HERE.
Spoiler alert: he takes the dog, which shocked me the first time I listened to it. I wonder why killers often harm animals early in their life but end up taking dogs when they become killers?
MURDERED: Karina Holmer
This episode often gives me ‘full-body chills’ as Ashley and Brit would say.
Anytime I think about it, I wonder if all dark art comes from inspiration or experience.
Looking back through my life, I realize that I wore statement clothing pieces, thinking that would help people find me if I ever got lost/was taken. This case shows me how truly mistaken I was.
Listen to this episode HERE.
Spoiler alert: this story will make you question ever stopping to pet a dog – even if they match their owner.
MISSING: Brian Shaffer
This case crosses my mind often.
So many corny jokes start with the words, ‘a guy walks into a bar.’
In fact, my all-time favorite song, sung by Tyler Farr, revolves around these very infamous words.
What if you heard that a guy walked into a bar, was the only person never seen leaving, and was never seen again in fourteen years.
That is the story of Brian Shaffer, which is beyond frustrating – I cannot imagine being his family.
Listen to this episode HERE.
SERIAL KILLER: Herb Baumeister
Earlier in the blog, I mentioned a man watching cake deteriorate in a drawer at work.
Who does that, you ask?
Well, a man who also parties with mannequins.
A man who pees on things when he’s angry.
A monster who lives a double life.
A family man. A businessman. A man who has his community rooting for him:
Herb Baumeister.
Listen to this episode HERE.
MYSTERIOUS DEATH: Kendrick Johnson
So many times, the media makes us think that villains aren’t brought to justice.
This case showed me that victims don’t ever get justice because no one is fighting for them.
Not the community, not the police, not their school – where they were killed.
This story makes me want to scream.
This case is one that so many view as an accidental death.
I’m convinced it was a cold-blooded murder.
Listen to this episode HERE.
SERIAL KILLER: Israel Keyes
Here in Indiana, all we expect is corn to grow, cows to moo, and Fort Wayne to rave about finally getting their own Trader Joes.
Most don’t expect or realize that a notorious serial killer visited here often.
In fact, it is assumed that most of his crimes have gone unnoticed.
Once, he even convinced a family that their loved one was still alive.
How did Israel Keyes do it?
A little stitchwork, a nice vacation, and a few dozen kill buckets.
Listen to this episode HERE.
MISSING: The Beaumont Children
Nothing breaks my heart more than hearing that parents lost their child.
This case shattered me when I realized these parents lost three children.
When I listened to this story in the shower – 10/10 do not recommend – I was devastated, horrified, and convinced one girls’ purse was found years later.
Not having answers is hard as a listener. As a parent, I can’t imagine not having answers still, over fifty years after their disappearance.
Listen to this episode HERE.
SERIAL KILLER: Shawn Grate
As I laid in bed one evening, in pitched black, I listened to a 911 call that chilled me to my core.
I was so frustrated with the operator but so terrified that when a fly landed on me, I flew out of my bed, screaming uncontrollably.
This episode is one that I think about often because of the 911 call that is played.
It is petrifying, but real life.
Listen to this episode HERE.
MURDERED: The Powell Family
While we are on the subject of terrible 911 operators, I must mention the Powell Family’s horrifying story.
Crime Junkie does an incredible job at relaying this story, and I’d highly recommend checking this episode out.
Listen to this episode HERE.
MISSING: Danielle Imbo and Richard Petrone
Did you ever think two people could go missing in a truck?
For the vehicle to never be seen again.
For there to never be another sighting of them.
Yeah, me neither.
This episode is a must as it shows how mysterious this world can be.
Listen to this episode HERE.
SERIAL KILLER: Charlie Brandt
This story is truly terrorizing and makes me want to live in isolation for the rest of my life.
First, this story is scary because, again, it talks about Fort Wayne.
Secondly, it is terrifying because a man killed his mother, and no one ever told his wife.
She was married to a monster and had absolutely no idea – until she got a sneaking suspicion.
This story will make you want to get not a prenup but a thorough background check.
Listen to this episode HERE.
MYSTERIOUS DEATH OF: Phoebe Handsjuk
This story is one that will make you fearful of opening the door.
Like the death of Kendrick Johnson, this is one that is ruled an accident – kind of.
In a Patreon ‘Audio Extra’ of this story, Ashley reveals that a death similar to this one has only been reported twice.
Both of the other times happened in the United States – whereas this happened in Australia – it occured in the same hotel.
The exact same hotel.
The only other places it has happened in the world.
The same hotel?
This story is chilling and is one that had me talking nonstop.
Listen to this episode HERE.
MURDERED: Sylvia Likens
I’m not going to recommend everyone listen to this because it is deeply bothersome.
This girl was being watched by a woman who seemed caring.
Until she locked her in a basement and let several neighbor kids assault, beat, and harm her – while her parents had no idea.
Eventually, Sylvia died, and these people went on to be respected: a teacher, a pastor, etc.
Listen to this episode HERE.
There are hundreds of other episodes that I could recommend. They’d make you wonder if you have a friend like ED KEMPER, if the hunk on TV is another RODNEY ALCALA, and if all social media accounts are targeting children like KACIE WOODY was targeted (all teens need to listen to this.)
I’d listen to them all. I mean, I already did!
I worked in Excel while learning that this world is cruel, Googling statistics on serial killers, jumping out of my shoes whenever anyone came from behind me, and wondering if my Siri voice could be Ashley’s.
This podcast is phenomenal: it has won awards, it helps publicize real stories, it contributes to good causes, and Brit often sheds light on fostering and adoption – which I love, considering I was adopted.
Listen to Crime Junkie. It could save your life, and there are live shows that would make great date nights.
P.S. If you end up finishing all episodes and get Patreon, wait until you hear about The Elevator Game. I have never believed in anything paranormal, but nothing made my skin crawl quite like that episode.
So, Like, Now What? 