Hey, blog friends!
I have missed you! But I must admit that I am surprised that I came back.
I started the podcast, “Crime Junkies.” I have been hardcore bingeing it, and each episode leads me to contemplate being a detective and hurrying to investigate.
Robert Fischer – you know, and I know that you altered your fingerprints. I will be the one to put you behind bars!
Atlas, I will keep the investigating to police and the blogging to a basic girl.
A basic girl who is now twenty-one!
My birthday was Saturday, September 12th.
Friday night, we decided to go to the Garrett cantina at midnight.
Making it to midnight was quite the struggle. I took a shower, chugged water, and sat in the garage with my dad. We munched on some McDonalds next to the space heater, while jamming to Mitchell Tenpenny.
Finally, 11:30 rolled around, and it was time to head to the cantina!
At midnight, I walked in, and everyone hollered,
As I realized I was the only person wearing a mask, so I took it off to thank them!
Dawson and I sat next to my parents and across from his.
The bartender came over, and I ordered my first ever glass of wine – as I usually drink out of the bottle because I’m not a fan of dishes – and I was not disappointed. As the night progressed, I believe that I ordered three more glasses of this Strawberry Moscato.
This drink was so delicious that I kept trying to peek at the label so that I could buy a bottle.
The night was great! The drinks were good, shots that tasted like Jolly Ranchers kept being sent my way, and the jukebox was popping! Except for when Dawson started playing some elevator music that he swears is perfect background music.
When everyone is staring at you, no longer dancing, you think you’d realize this song wasn’t a hit. Not Dawson, though! He just kept defending it and dancing to the beat.
When the bar closed, I stumbled out in my furry slippers, while looking forward to snuggling in bed with my sweet Beasley.
9:00 am hit me hard when my alarm started blaring.
9:45 hit me harder.
10:00 hit me the hardest.
When 10:30 hit, I jumped out of bed! I was ready to start my entire day of celebration.
When I walked out into the kitchen, I was shocked, hurt, disappointed that no one else was up.
If I am twenty-one and had four glasses of wine, my forty-four-year-old parents who had six mugs of beer can surely be up!
Dawson had no excuse either! He hadn’t drank anything, and was still sleeping. That slacker!
Soon enough, Dawson surprised me with Starbucks proving that he was not a slacker. Then, we started trucking it to Ted’s Beerhall. I was so excited to sit outside, sip some wine, and devour buffalo chicken fries. Yes, the buffalo chicken dip has dairy, but there are some things worth exploding for.
When we got to the restaurant, I was even more thrilled to learn they do half-priced appetizers on Saturdays! Does this mean two orders of buffalo chicken fries? I may be onto something here, folks!
Here is where I express a compliment-sandwich: our waitress had great nails! With her nails, she handed me the alcohol menu as soon as I sat down and immediately expected me to know what I wanted. Sure enough, I panicked and pointed to the very first wine listed. She brought it quickly, which was pleasant!
After over-indulging in buffalo chicken fries and slowly sipping 9oz of wine – it wasn’t my favorite because I was rushed! – we went to Cap ‘n Cork!
When I walked in, I almost passed out.
This was like the goldmine of wine. White, red, pink, vegan, sparkling, dry, sweet – they had it all.
As utterly beautiful as it may have been, I still went to the vodka.
There my dreams sat:
A pink lemonade vodka created by a Barstool Sports podcast. One of the hosts of that podcast dates the producer of my podcast…that just got canceled. Tears were shed.
Right when I saw the bottle of Pink Whitney from across the store, I knew exactly what it was. That is how many times I have seen it advertised.
Overall, the experience was great. However, after I checked out, the clerk IDed Dawson. Shouldn’t they have done that when we walked in or before I made the purchase?
Once we got home, a family friend surprised me with a visit, apple cupcakes, and a sweet bottle of red wine.
After they left, I decided that it was time to test some Pink Whitney.
My initial reaction was tears.
So. Many. Tears.
Did anyone know you shouldn’t drink vodka straight? Personally, I had no idea and drank half a cup of it. Man, did that burn.
After seeing my watering eyes, my dad drove me to the liquor store in Avilla. There, I purchased Sprite and my favorite Uncle Ray chips.
Once the vodka was mixed with Sprite, it was delicious!
When I returned to my home, my cousin and her boyfriend were waiting for my arrival.
I was so excited to see them and even more pleased when I learned her boyfriend liked wine. I couldn’t wait to indulge in wine with them!
Instead of trying wine, we did twelve shots of vodka, rum, and so many other liquors.
That is where my story ends.
I didn’t die, but the proper, well-behaved Chloe did.
Apparently, I was screaming for Beasley, which terrified her. Poor baby!
I continuously asked Dawson for water. When he handed it to me, I would throw it, then accuse him of not getting me water. I knew he wanted me to be dehydrated.
More must have happened because the next day, Dawson declared that he was never letting me drink again.
I passed out at 10:30, so I couldn’t have done that much. Right?
Coming from the boy who kept handing me my drinks and telling me to drink more!
Around 4:30 am, I busted out of my room. Where was my phone!?
After searching for long periods, I concluded that it was just gone. Then, I proceeded to hop in the shower, pop in four Advil, and chug water.
When I woke up around 9, I was perfectly fine.
Not only did twelve shots not kill me, but it didn’t even make me throw up!
Nonetheless, I was out of commission all day. I laid in bed, drank water, and did nothing. When I attempted to tackle some homework, I started feeling majorly carsick. That’s when I threw Netflix on, grabbed some Ben & Jerry’s, and chilled in bed.
As I shared in a previous blog post, my love language is gifts. That being said, I am a huge fan of hearing what gifts people received!
My friend, Makinnah, went hard with a Grinch theme. If you know anything about me, it is probably that I watch the 2018 animated Grinch at least 20 times a year. She made the most adorable Grinch wine glass, a shimmering ornament, and a Grinch sign.
Some of my coworkers got me awesome items. Chelsea, my office buddy, got me a cute basket, a 2021 daily calendar, a mug, and iridescent wine glasses. My work bestie, Lindsay, gave me a pink “Dog Mama” Starbucks cup, succulents, a marble water bottle, and a certificate to do Board and Brush with her! How freaking awesome are my coworkers!
My parents got me the most fabulous Michael Kors purse in brown. They filled it with stainless steel wine tumblers and vanilla lotion. Can we talk about how I get my ‘extraness’ from my mom!?
Dawson got me a subscription to the wine company, Winc. He gave me a beach bag, where you can pour and dispense wine – all in secret! Lastly, he gave me so many tools for my Cricut. I always appreciate how thoughtful he is!
My Aunt Rachel gave me two sweet bottles of wine from Byler Winery. Then, she got me all sizes of lifetime-warrantied Tupperware. Dishwasher safe and warrantied? She clearly knows how to speak my language.
Dawson’s parents, Jon and Jonelle, got me the cutest basket. It was themed after The Bachelor. Eek! They had a Pinterest-worthy, beach basket filled with a crown wine glass, a book, and “the most dramatic season ever” wine tumbler. Additionally, they got me light pink, furry slippers – that I wore out of the cantina – that make me feel like Elle Woods. In the basket was a hungover cookbook, which was so cute! They also threw in an Amazon gift card, which I used to purchase my furry, white garland.
Side note: wait until you see my Christmas tree this year. I recently purchased all the décor for it. It’s going to be chic, classy, and Santa approved.
My cousin, Brooke, gave me an avocado face mask and a “Whoopie Cake” candle that smells like Heaven. She also brought me “Strawberry Blush” from Country Heritage Winery, which was so good that Dawson’s mom and I shared several bottles later in the week.
My future sister-in-law, Reese, got me a shot glass and “Dog Mom” mug. She knows me well!
My brother, Chance, gave me a watch from Target. Why is this so cool? Because my favorite social media user ever, “my duck lady,” has it! Everyone hears me ramble on and on about everything she does, so this was a major win for Chance!
My Grandma Cande got me silicone oven mitts and hot pads. She also got me the fanciest set of wine glasses and a pitcher. I am already looking at trays that I can put it on because I love being fancy. I’m twenty-one now. No more drinking out of a bottle – except when the Grey’s Anatomy series finale airs. That is when I will sob, hold the bottle, and finish a pound of Ben & Jerry’s.
So many other people gave me wishes, wine, and cards. My heart was filled with love and gratitude. I am so blessed with so many people!
Now, my cabinets hold 17 bottles of birthday wine, another bottle of Pink Whitney, Skinny Girl margarita, and liquor.
I think that I’m set.
BUT if you want me to buy and split a bottle of wine with you, I am game!
All in all, my birthday was perfect! My only regret is scaring Beasley, but we have had many belly-rubs and are all good!
Thank you all so much!